#but now in adult life

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

[detentiontrack]

i think the people criticizing chappell roan right now don't understand how bipolar disorder works. chappell roan is diagnosed with bipolar 2. do you know how hard it is to keep it together with major life changes when you are constantly going through phases of hypomania/mania and depression? big life changes can trigger a catastrophic episode. i was hospitalized after moving or almost moving TWICE. you know what is a really big change? suddenly becoming as famous as she is in such a short period of time. bipolar can also cause paranoia and difficulty trusting people. you know what can trigger that? being constantly approached in public by people asking for hugs and pictures and literally FOLLOWING HER WHEREVER SHE GOES. SOME of yall are like "mental health matters <3" but as soon as someone puts down reasonable boundaries or prioritizes their mental health, y'all go after them. i feel that some of you guys just expect musicians and other artists to be emotionless content machines and call them selfish when they actually experience emotions and need boundaries in place. chappell roan is a human being before she is a musician. she does NOT owe you ANYTHING!! at this point the people whining just sound selfish and unsympathetic.

[mikakuna]

i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)

and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.

a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.

this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).

anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.

[notherpuppet]

Which part of your Alastor and Lucifer human comic (I forgot what It's named) is your favorite?

Ahhh I have so much fun with the “My Deer Nanny” AU, it’s hard to pick. Here are some of my fave moments (sorry it’s so disorganized haha)

Charlie meets Alastor 🌈 🦌

EDIT: OMG I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THIS FAVE MOMENT

Jealous Vox 😜📺

Lucifer and Alastor’s “hug” 🩸🫂

Huskerdust meets in Nanny AU 🐈‍⬛🕸️

Rosie, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🥀📻🍎

Mimzy, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🐥🍎🦌

Almimzy dancing 💃🏼🕺🏽

Lucifer dips Alastor 🪩

Doe-eyed Alastor 🥹🦌

Link to Masterpost

[ewwww-what]

You are not a coward. You have a goddamn medical condition, alright?

[vibinginthebg]

Still some doodles of them :DD

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 342

Danny reincarnates, y’know, as some realms beings who have previously died will do. He doesn’t choose a dimension or a perfect life or anything, he just misses being alive in a way that’s starting to grow unfamiliar now y'know? 

So he reincarnates, most memories gone and those not easily dismissed as dreams and imagination. He even gets a baby brother in this life, a tiny thing with bright blue eyes and a good grip on his fingers. He loves his baby brother. Adores him. Would do anything for him. 

Or, Danny incarnates as Thomas Wayne Jr, Bruce Wayne’s older brother. 

[egophiliac]

something quick to relieve the tension of these final hours ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

close-up, 'cause it got kinda lost in resizing:

[hopefulrunaways]

Poor new camper walk in their counselors break time activities🙏

[hoofpeet]

When the aroace 💯

[nerdyenby]

One thing about Etho is he always winds up in some whack family dynamic. He doesn’t even seek it out, people see him and are like “you are my deadbeat dad now, thanks” and he’s just standing there like 🤨

[neonbuck]

you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

[kateksmallcuteowl]

Evil team bonding

Based on this tweet:

[somegrumpynerd]

A little animation I made of Dream and Nightmare for fun, it's pretty short and simple but not bad for my second go at animation I think ^^

The music is from here, I highly recommend listening to the full thing cause it's so beautiful!

Quick explanation for the song and a gif version under the cut

So when I was first dipping my toes into utmv stuff like a year ago, I made a slideshow for my sister with a bunch of au Sanses, let her guess what kinda vibe she thought they had and then gave her a list of names/ aus to see if she could figure out who was who (she did surprisingly well and I'm proud of her).

Well, when I first showed her pictures of Dream her immediate reaction was "this guy looks like he's from zelda" and it's just always stuck with me. Somewhere along the way I started headcanoning Dream playing some kind of instrument when they were kids and when I heard the pan flute version of zelda's lullaby everything kind of fell into place.

So here they are, having a little moment of peace finally, brothers together again c: